When Fanservice Goes Wrong
by Theralion
Summary: The Saki cast takes a trip to the beach, including those who aren't quite in their element.


**When Fanservice Goes Wrong**

On a beach near Tokyo, a few dozen teenage girls, mahjong players from various high schools across Japan gathered, but not to play mahjong. A large portion of them were bound by the rules of the individuals, and were unable to play against those who were also in the individuals. Those, who were not in the individuals and had been eliminated in the team tournament did not see the point. Those who could try again in the next tournament or the one after it would have more than enough time to practice and prepare. Those who could not merely had to come to terms with it. And all of them recognized that there were times when it was simply good to take a break, be it from work, studies, or even the hobbies they did for pleasure.

The players gathered on the understanding that while only a fraction of them could make it to the nationals, and only one could achieve the championship, outside the tournament, they were in the same age group, had a common hobby, had many of the same concerns, and had more similarities than differences.

But there were differences between them, and one was that some were more comfortable on the beach, in a swimsuit, or in the heat than others.

* * *

Kumakura Toshi sat in the shade of a beach umbrella. Unlike most of the others on the beach, she was dressed in a short-sleeved polo shirt and a pair of shorts. Atago Masae came up to her, dressed in a two-piece bathing suit.

"Hello, Coach Atago," Toshi said.

"It's good to see you, too, Coach Kumakura," Masae said. "Is the Miyamori team here?"

"Well, yes," Toshi said. "I'm considering joining the others, but fanservice on the beach is a young woman's game."

"I'm not sure how to say this..." Masae said hesitantly, "but I'm not quite as young as I used to be. Do you remember Hiroe and Kinue from the quarterfinals? They're my _daughters,_ you know."

"I see; I'd like to congratulate them on making it through the quarter-finals," Toshi said. "You must be proud of them."

"Thank you; I am," Masae said. "Your team put in a good effort this year, just like my students did at the semi-finals."

Toshi nodded.

"So you understand the feeling of watching another team advance while cheering them on?" Toshi said. "My team took a liking to their former opponents, both the similarly defeated Eisui and the victorious Kiyosumi and Himematsu."

"The girls from Senriyama also couldn't help but cheer on Achiga, especially after a friendly encounter between Toki, Ryuuka, and the entire Achiga team with the exception of the elder Matsumi sister," Masae said. "They're enjoying today... with one exception."

* * *

"Geez…" Eguchi Sera of Senriyama said as she put on a one-piece bathing suit, "Not only does FunaQ make me put on my school uniform for official matches, but now I have to wear this?"

"It could be worse," Atarashi Ako of Achiga said to her two-time opponent, with whom she felt surprisingly comfortable speaking with despite their schools having been opponents. "There are times when I wish my breasts were bigger, like Yuu-nee's or Nodoka's, and then I realize I have to fit them into a swimsuit. Nodoka had a lot of trouble with that."

At that point, Iwato Kasumi of Eisui walked past Ako and Sera, her extremely large breasts swaying as her bikini struggled to contain them. When asked, Kasumi was unable to definitively state her cup size, and could only give an approximate guess.

"Wow…" Ako said, "I didn't realize that Nodoka was fortunate compared to some people."

Kasumi, passing by Ako and Cera, happened upon Anetai Toyone, whom she recognized at a distance from her height and her long, dark hair. Toyone was quite pleased with the swimsuit she picked out, and even more so with the prospect of going to the beach with some of the first friends she had ever made- including a few of her former rivals.

"It's good to see you again, Toyone-chan," Kasumi said.

"Same here, Iwato-san!" Toyone said. "Thank you so much for showing us to the store you frequented."

"It was the least I could do to help you," Kasumi said pleasantly. "It's a good place, and it has a lot for people… of unusual sizes. I think they're the same people who make the brasseries that Komaki-chan and I wear."

"Kurumi's on the other end of the height spectrum as I am, and both she and I found good swimsuits there," Toyone said. "I wonder if it'll make a good hand-me-down if she has kids one day."

"Still, I have to wonder what her daughter will ask," Kasumi said. "Her daughter, maybe ten, will say 'Mom, how old is that swimsuit?' and she'll say 'I wore it in high school."

"I can only imagine," Toyone said. "My family lives far away from the coast, so I never got to go to the beach before. This is the first time I bought a swimsuit."

"How are you finding the beach, now that you're here for the first time?" Kasumi said.

"I never expected it to be so hot around here, even considering that it's summer," Toyone said. "I'm managing, but I wonder if some people aren't used to this heat."

* * *

Matsumi Yuu shivered as most of her body was exposed to the elements. As she dipped her foot into the ocean water, she felt a chill go from her toe to her head, and quickly retracted her foot as the tide ebbed away.

"Cold, isn't it, Onee-chan?" her younger sister, Kuro, said. The Matsumi family, and some of their friends, like Ako and Sagimori Arata, was long used to Yuu taking out a kotatsu during the summer, and wearing a scarf year-round. As such, when they stayed in their hotel in Tokyo, Kuro volunteered to stay with Yuu, so that she could deal with her sister's needs for heat, as well as because of the simple fact that they were sisters.

"Y-yes…" Yuu said hesitantly, her teeth chattering.

"I'd say you'll get used to the water," Kuro said, "but it doesn't seem like you want to stick around long enough to do so, right?" Yuu shook her head.

Yuu and Kuro wandered around the beach, and found Toki resting her head on Ryuuka's lap, with a towel as a blanket, beneath an umbrella.

"Excuse me…" Yuu begain, "I was wondering if I could possibly rest here; it seems warm."

"Ah, the Matsumi sisters," Ryuuka said. "We can accommodate you as well, right, Toki?"

"Sure," Toki said sleepily. "By the way, congratulations on winning the semi-finals."

"Thank you," Yuu said, as she and Kuro sat down.

"Not a problem at all," Ryuuka said pleasantly. "I'd have liked to go to the finals together with you."

"That's for sure," Toki said. "Ryuuka really started cheering when she saw you on the screen- 'Go, Kuro-chan, Fight!'- a bit like that."

Despite Toki's best attempts, her weak voice could not capture Ryuuka's enthusiasm.

"H-hey, it wasn't quite like that," Ryuuka said, blushing.

"You're right, I can't quite yell and cheer like you can, Ryuuka," Toki said, before coughing.

"Onjouji-san, are you sure you're well enough for you to be out of the hospital yet?" Kuro said.

"Yes," Toki said. "How long has it been since the semi-finals?"

"Um…" Ryuuka, Kuro and Yuu said together, then sighed. Neither of them was sure of the answer. They knew that their half of the semi-finals had ended with Achiga and Shiraitodai advancing while Senriyama and Shindouji were eliminated, but none of them knew what happened after that, and they suspected that the person who set up the entire gathering was also ignorant.

"Still, this is amazing," Ryuuka said, "To get all these teams together in such a short period of time?"

"The Nationals has been doing that for years," Toki said with the same slightly snarky tone she often used around Ryuuka. "One from each prefecture, even."

"Well, actually…" Yuu began, "I see some of the defeated teams from Nagano prefecture here. I know some of them were in Tokyo for various reasons, but it seems odd that so many would come here."

"Let me see…" Kuro said. "Fukuji-san of Kazekoshi is in the national individuals, so some of her teammates accompanied her here. Kanbara-san of Tsuruga's grandmother lives near here, so they're not paying for a hotel. As for Ryuumonbuchi's team, they seem rich enough that this isn't a problem for them."

Startled by the noise, Jindai Komai of Eisui, who was sleeping nearby, woke up.

"Ah, there you are, Princess," Usuzumi Hatsumi said as she approached her distant relative and teammate, wearing a one-piece swimsuit that nicely matched her tan lines. "Were you sleeping again?"

"Yes," Komaki said. "It seems to happen fairly often- even when I'm playing mahjong."

_"I kind of wish, for both our sakes, it happened **more** often_ there." Hatsumi thought.

Not far off, Kosegawa Shiromi, known as "Shiro" among her friends at Miyamori, lay on a towel, not liking the running around and playing that her friends and teammates were doing. She also considered playing mahjong very draining, but also considered it something she did with her friends, something she hoped she could have continued doing for a while longer.

_"I wouldn't have minded playing four more hanchans,"_ she thought.

* * *

Saki sat on a towel, near the water, as she watched the rest of Kiyosumi's mahjong team playing in the water. As she watched, Yumi walked nearby, accompanied by the invisible Momo, and she turned as she noticed Saki.

"It's been a while, Miyanaga," Yumi said, dressed in her school's swimsuit.

"Hello, Kajiki-san," Saki said. "I take it that you… have a similar problem as I do?"

"Y-yes," Yumi said, blushing a little. Saki was somewhat surprised to see a vulnerable and easily embarrassed side to the stoic, no-nonsense and commanding girl that most had assumed to be the leader of Tsuruga's mahjong club based on her intelligence and force of personality.

"You can't swim, either, Rinshan Kaihou-san?" Momo said, appearing from behind Yumi. She wore a relatively conservative one-piece swimsuit. Satomi had joked that with her invisibility powers, Momo could go with any kind of unflattering or revealing swimsuit she wanted. However, Momo was mindful of her appearance; she wore both the cardigan and the necktie of her uniform even in the summer months, and she had put in more effort toward having an appealing casual appearance for when she spent time with Yumi out of school. Yumi had liked the swimsuit's appearance on her, and that was the deciding factor in Momo's decision to purchase it.

"Yes, that's true," Saki said. "The number of things to do at the beach is relatively limited when you can't go in the water. And it's less than convenient when many of your friends are swimmers, wouldn't you agree?"

Yumi nodded.

"Well, would you like some lessons?" Yumi said. "Momo's going to help me learn how to swim, and I'm sure she would be happy to help you."

"Absolutely, senpai!" Momo said.

"I…I'll have to pass," Saki said.

Momo and Yumi glanced at each other. The expression they had just seen on Saki's face was similar to the one she had when she was told that her sister, Teru, had denied being related to Saki. Clearly, there was much they did not know about Saki, but what they could gather through intuition indicated that this was not a comfortable subject.

"All right, then," Yumi said. "Just let us know if you change your mind. Let's go, Momo."

"Ok, senpai," Momo said, and followed Yumi as they walked to an area where Momo could help Yumi practice swimming.

Saki sat for a few minutes, wondering why they were there. Would they stay until the sun went down, when it started getting cold, or when enough people got bored? If it was the latter, she could count herself as one of them.

Eventually, Kyoutaro and Nodoka walked in and joined her. Kyoutarou had hoped to join Mihoko, but was quickly disappointed when she asked him where Hisa was, and proceeded to walk off with her. He also hoped to hang out with Nodoka, but she had asked for his help in finding Saki.

"Hi, Saki," Kyoutaro said.

"Hello, Saki-san," Nodoka said.

"Hi, Kyou-chan, Nodoka-chan," Saki said.

Kyoutaro, having known Saki since they went to middle school, did not need to ask about Saki's lack of desire or ability to swim. He merely took a seat next to her, inferring that his old friend wanted company.

Nodoka was a more recent acquaintance to Saki, and was fully aware that there were many things about Saki that she did not yet know and Saki was not yet ready to tell her about.

The three of them remained silent for a moment, trying to think of what to say. Saki then decided to take the opportunity to ask the question that had been in the back of her mind all this time. What was the purpose behind this entire setup, which was all but entirely female?

"Kyou-chan, why is it that guys like seeing girls in their swimsuits?" Saki said

"The obvious answer seems to be that they like seeing the girls showing a lot of skin," Kyoutaro said; his tone was ambivalent, and he was mainly speaking from his perspective.

"But it's also possible that it's nice seeing the girls out of their element," Nodoka said. "Ever since we got to Tokyo, we've spent the majority of our waking hours playing mahjong, practicing playing mahjong, reading mahjong game records, watching mahjong games, or otherwise preparing to play mahjong. What are we when we're not doing something related to that? It might be interesting to see."

"Really?" Saki said. "I've been told I'm somewhat clumsy, timid and shy outside of mahjong, but am absolutely fearsome when I'm on the table."

"You're not the only one," Nodoka said. "As terrifying as Koromo may seem to her opponents, which is justified to an extent given her skill, you and I both know that she's simply a little girl who misses her parents and wants to make friends of her own. I think I heard the president say once that the reason Koromo and Fujita-pro get along so well is that Fujita-pro understands the latter part of Koromo."

"I'd say you're overthinking this, Nodoka," Kyoutaro said. "Let me put it this way- you want to see Saki in a swimsuit, don't you?"

"Well, ye…" Nodoka said before a blush went over her face. "No! Th-that's not it!" she said vehemently.

"So there you have it, Saki," Kyoutaro said. "It's sort of a guilty pleasure, but one we enjoy nevertheless."

"Thanks, Kyou-chan," Saki said. "Still, whatever the circumstances, it's fun to be out here, with Nodoka-chan, you and everyone else."

Almost on cue, Kuro appeared along with her sister.

"Ah, there you are, Nodoka-chan!" Kuro said.

"Kuro-san," Nodoka said." And is this your sister?"

"Matsumi Yuu," Yuu said. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Nodoka-chan, if I may?" Nodoka nodded.

"The pleasure is mine... Yuu-san?" Nodoka said.

"Our teammates and Akado-san are here," Yuu said. "Arata-chan, our fifth member, president and vice-captain, would like to officially meet you, too, having heard about you from us."

"That would be good," Nodoka said. "Then let me introduce you to some of my friends from Nagano."

Saki couldn't help but smile. Perhaps fanservice-oriented events like this were worthwhile, if they enabled friends to spend time together, reunited those who had been separated for a long time, and allowed people to meet each other and form new friendships.

There was one person Saki hoped to speak with again, even if she believed that, with the way things were right now, their talking would not be any more pleasant or productive than the last time they saw each other- although she hoped that was not the last time they would speak.

"_I haven't forgotten you, even after all this time, or after everything that happened, Onee-chan,"_ Saki said. _"One day, we will come together as a family again, I swear it."_

* * *

**Author's Notes  
**

Thank you for reading this fic. I wrote this as sort of a parody of fanservice scenes, by showing characters who, for one reason or another, wouldn't like swimming, getting into a bathing suit, the hot weather, exerting themselves or other things. It's also a look at showing characters from various schools together in such scenes with no clearly established point in canon, as shown by Toki's confusion over when this is set, as well as the fact that some characters may enjoy opportunities to get together with others. As such, there's not much of a plot, but that's largely to be expected given what it's parodying.

I'm also writing a Girls und Panzer/Saki crossover called Necessary to Win, which is written in such a way that it's accessible to people who aren't fully familiar with both series. You can find it in my profile, or the Crossovers page for Saki and Girls und Panzer.


End file.
